Friday, June 7, 2013

Fasting

To prepare my heart, mind, and soul for Thailand, I will be fasting from this Friday evening to Tuesday, when we depart. Since airport food is expensive I plan on bringing light snacks on our flight to Tokyo and then to Bangkok - in total, we'll have an 18-hour flight! Tuesday is going to be my "fast-break" day, which basically means eating light foods in minor consistencies (it's best not to break a fast by eating two pieces of chocolate cake and half a loaf of French bread. Trust me, I learned that the hard way...) Not that I have much of a choice for Tuesday; all I'll have is snacks and the two meals from the flight, which as far as I know aren't huge either.

I've only been fasting for a few hours and all I can think about right now is FOOD.

Food, 

Food, 
 

and more food!

My salivary glands hate me for that.

This is the third fast I've ever done. The first one was the most significant to me, the same one I described above as relating to cake and French bread. I remember by the second day into it I had this habit I would do whenever I got on my laptop. I would curl up on my bed, nibble on the corner of my pillowcase or blanket, and Google Image search pictures of my favorite foods...kind of like what I just did up there.

And that was when it occurred to me I was following an awfully familiar pattern to a common addiction focused on another sort of physical desire of the human body. Pornography. We go so far as to drive ourselves mad by igniting that hunger, whether literal "hunger" or not, by chasing after an illusion of it. We try to act it out, give ourselves hallucinations of it, stare at images of it all day, but we're still deprived and still consumed with lust. You see, up until my first fast I didn't realize what would happen to me as soon as I "couldn't" have my food. As soon as I could not have it, I wanted it twenty times more than before I started the fast. On a normal day, I would never look up pictures of my favorite foods! But suddenly food is all I care about; it is all I can think about. It brings out the childish "gotta have it, gotta have it NOW" nature in me. So, after my first fast, I learned a lot about the human nature and what drives our lust and selfishness - truly an eye-opening experience. Just don't do it when the fridge is overflowing with leftovers...

This fast is helping me set my mind right. Now that I can't have food, I have to focus on what's going on in my heart. It's a discipline. But, I volunteered for this, so I sure will stick through it to the end.

One more blog post and then I'll be off to Thailand for two weeks! Wonder how many followers I can get while I'm gone...?



2 comments:

  1. Interestingly, I was fasting for the past week myself. The past week was exam week, and I found that postponing breakfast to later in the day really helped me keep a clear mind and heart, and also give my stomach a chance to rest. I can't even imagine how hard your current fast is---it is such a LONG one, but I'm very proud of you for taking the initiative to do that. Your analogy with the addiction to pornography and the need for food was truly excellent. Sometimes we have to go without something entirely to break its hold on us or help us focus on things that are more important. Keep strong, and don't exert yourself too much during this long fast! (Just curious, are you breaking your fast at the end of every day or are you just going to not eat until Tuesday?) Because if you are, I'm a little worried for you. Your trip sounds like it will be physically exerting and it doesn't sound too healthy to severely weaken yourself just before your trip. It would be really awful if you fainted getting off the plane in Thailand or something like that.

    Take care, and God bless!
    Towa

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    1. Thank you for the lovely comment, Towa! I'm being a bit careful with this fast. in fact, it was my dad's idea for us to eat a few light foods midday so we don't go completely hungry. That way, it will be easier to get back into the swing of meal-times by Tuesday.
      Pretty nervous about the trip, but of course, looking forward to it as well :)

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